Whatcha Realizing, Jerk?


Simpsons-Impaired? Link.

So, it’s been exactly a month since I (re)started my self-portraits project. I thought I’d share a few high-level observations from the experience.

Observation 1: Mirrors Are Lying Liars That Tell Lies

Prior to this project, my standard morning ritual involved at least a cursory glance in the mirror before heading out the door, but no extended dawdling. During this project, however, I’ve been spending a great deal more time consulting the mirror, who has told me things like:

“Ehh, not bad.”

“Indeed, those colors work well together.”

“You are so totally pulling this off. What an off-puller, you!”

Well, guess what: those were all horrible, horrible lies. But, it took being confronted with the photographic evidence for me to realize it. More accurate statements would have been: Actually, yes, bad. In fact, those colors work badly together and you should feel badly. The only thing you’re really pulling is my eyes… from my head… because omg the pain. I can’t necessarily blame the mirror, though. Lying is in his very nature. The fault is mine. This is a lesson I should have learned long ago from Clueless… 

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Stretching Some Shoes

Over the weekend I chanced upon some wicked awesome shoes. They had so much going for them: They were bright orange! They were platform wedges! They were 60% off retail! But, as luck would have it, the last available pair was a half size smaller than my usual. Undeterred, I tried them on. The length of the footbed matched my foot just fine, but the shoes were so tight at the vamp that I could barely squeeze my toes in, leaving my heel dangling off the back. I bought them anyway. Hey, I figured this would make for an excellent opportunity to document how exactly I go about stretching some shoes. Also, omg they’re so cute and make me so tall. 

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