Ask Certain Doom #1

A first attempt at an advice column. 🙂

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Thanks for sending us our very first Ask Certain Doom question, Ben B. of Sacramento, CA. Sounds like you’ve got a serious problem here and that problem is being an unnecessary stickler for gendered singular pronouns. You’ve gotta let it go, buddy. “Their” time has come. (See what we did there? their? they’re?)

Here are some reasons:

Anywho, on to your question. We think there are three clear options here:


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What’s For Lunch? Paper Fortune Teller

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Lunch is one of the top six most important meals of the day, ranking somewhere between Brunch and Lunner, and two slots behind Elevenses – the most important meal of the day being Second Breakfast.

But, with the modern workplace being what it is, you may find it difficult to make time for lunch, to even wrap your head around the notion of lunch. And, deciding what to eat… Well, what kind of superman brainiac has the mental energy for that?

So, we made you this handy paper fortune teller to tell you what’s for lunch. It has animals on it. See?

fmtcd-paperfortuneteller-lunchclick for a PDF

If your childhood was very lonesome and you’re unfamiliar with paper fortune tellers, they’re little paper playthings the rest of us learned to make in grade school for the purposes of determining our future spouses, living arrangements, and/or careers. They’re how we ended up married to the lunch lady…

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Challenge #4: Many Happy Returns

Just posted a new challenge to FMTCD. I’m honestly genuinely curious as to how many folks will return items to others. People are nice, I guess… but how nice?

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The Challenge

Attach a note to a common office item asking for its prompt return to you/your desk. The more items returned, the more points you earn. (Bonus points for odd and unusual items.)

The Catch(es)

  • Items cannot belong to you
  • Items must be found in acommon office area accessible to everyone (not on a colleague’s desk)
  • Items cannot be living creatures
  • Items must be restored to the their rightful places/owners at the end of the challenge
  • Player vs. Player sabotage is allowed. See below.

The Points

  • Get an item returned to you – 25 pts
  • Receive a message about your item (e.g.,”I think you left your leaf blower in the conference room.”) from a Non-Player Colleague (NPC) – 10 pts
  • Have your note destroyed – -15 pts
  • Email hey [@] followmetocertaindoom [.] com, or post and tag (#FMTCDchallenge) a pic of your labeled and/or returned item to

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