We Are a Human Person & Other Exciting News

I am this human person…

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Hello, friends!

Once again we must beg your forgiveness for the prolonged absence. We’ve been busy in our “real” lives doing “work” for “money.” Such crazy times we live in!

Nonetheless, we thought we’d drop by to share some exciting news with you. First up, the truth must be told: We are a human person! Yes, despite the fact we consistently refer to ourselves in the first-person plural, we are a single, individual human person. We have a name. That name is “Marie Kare.”

Why share this information now or at all? It pertains to another piece of news: This Marie person entered our first book into the Robert and Adele Schiff Contest for Poetry and Prose. To our utter shock, our submission fared surprisingly well, and this Marie person (not “Certain Doom”) was named as a finalist!

We wanted to share our excitement and gratitude over our inclusion but…

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How to Celebrate National Blueberry Muffin Day & National Cheer Up the Lonely Day

Been absent a while, dealing with the ol’ personal life. Will get back to posting shortly. In the meantime, please enjoy a little something from our good friends at FollowMeToCertainDoom.com…

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National Blueberry Muffin Day & National Cheer Up the Lonely Day
July 11, 2017

Celebrate both National Blueberry Muffin Day and National Cheer Up the Lonely Day by baking a dozen blueberry muffins and taking them to your neighbor’s house as a gift. Invite yourself in and ask for a tour of their home. Admire their furnishings and decor. Ask about their personal life – their childhood, their family, their work, their relationships. Tell them about yours. Ask about their politics and personal philosophies. Tell them about yours. Ask if you can stay for lunch. Ask if you can stay for dinner. Ask if you can stay the night. Ask if they could at least walk you home. Once home, ask if they could tuck you in. There. Feel better now?

two great tastes that taste great together

Links galore so you can learn more…

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Challenge #13: Numbers & Statistics

Please give this week’s FMTCD challenge a try! This week’s prize is either an Amazon gift card or a donation in your name to Doctors Without Borders. 🙂

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This is our thirteenth challenge! Inspired by this very lucky number, the most recent debate in the American presidential election, and our recent Charts & Graphs challenge, this week, we’re doing the math, crunching the numbers, carrying the one, massaging the data, and adding it all up to create our very own questionable statistics.

The Challenge

Create statistics of questionable authenticity and share them with your colleagues, friends, and/or the Internet at large. See how many stats you can create and how may people will believe or even cite them. 

Here is an example of a questionable statistic:

1 in 5 people reading this will become a secret werewolf..png It’s questionable because we all know the real stat is 1 in 3.

The Points

  • Create a questionable statistic – 15 pts
  • Present a questionable statistic to a Non-Player Colleague, or on the Internet: – 20 pts
  • Email us – hey AT followmetocertaindoom DOT com – a pic of your chart/graph or post/tag it with #FMTCD to Instagram or

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Ask Certain Doom #1

A first attempt at an advice column. 🙂

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Thanks for sending us our very first Ask Certain Doom question, Ben B. of Sacramento, CA. Sounds like you’ve got a serious problem here and that problem is being an unnecessary stickler for gendered singular pronouns. You’ve gotta let it go, buddy. “Their” time has come. (See what we did there? their? they’re?)

Here are some reasons:

Anywho, on to your question. We think there are three clear options here:


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