BCGFMN #8ish – The Last Unicorn

The Last Unicorn Gift Pack.jpg

To make up for the relative paucity of nonsense in my last Book-Centered Gift for My Niece, this week I went crazy-go-nuts. Everything in this one was purchased – whoops!

Anywho, included in this package:

  • The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle – I was unfamiliar with this one, but the reviews were so good I picked up a copy for myself. It may be the best book I have ever read.
  • a unicorn bookmark made of wood veneer
  • a unicorn zippered pouch
  • two different unicorn lapel pins
  • a pair of unicorn hair pins
  • three unicorn stickers
  • a tin of unicorn adhesive bandages
  • a set of three unicorn pocket notebooks
  • a unicorn magnet
  • a unicorn journal with Pablo Picasso quote
  • a unicorn and mermaids Mad Libs book
  • a “You Can Do It” unicorn greeting card – with a little message from me
  • a matching flying unicorn sticker

I really hope my niece likes unicorns!

Book-Centered Gifts For My Niece — Package #7(ish)

My niece is a voracious reader who dreams of leaving that whole public library baloney behind in favor of her own personal library. Can you blame her?

I had that same dream when I was her age, but have had thirty years to make good on it. I’ve amassed quite a collection, most of which (I donated many boxes of books to a local library a while back) is now quietly collecting dust on the bookshelves, side tables, and/or any available flat surfaces of my home — up to and including the floor. And, though the threat of our home collapsing under the weight of said books concerns me deeply, I continue to purchase more. It’s like a sickness. A sickness that makes you feel good and learn things and exercise your brain and whatever. Disgusting.

Anywho, I got to thinking: This little girl wants books and I appear to possess more books than generally considered healthy for an individual person (if I were a library it would make more sense — you might even be disappointed with the selection — but fuck the library). And, I definitely want to cut back on the amount of just plain “stuff” I own. Perhaps I could send some of these books her way to get her personal library started!

So, each weekend for the last six or so weeks (I haven’t kept track), I’ve sent my niece back in Texas a little package containing an age-appropriate (she’s ten) book from my collection and a little note wishing her well, etc.

At least, that’s how it started.

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I Wrote A Book!


When I was a little girl, I wanted to be just two things when I grew up: five foot nine and a writer. I only made it to five foot seven, but guess what! Yesterday I self-published a book!

How to Celebrate National Days: Instructions for Enjoying Daily Pseudo-Holidays, Volume 1 is the work of my not-so-secret alter-ego, Certain Doom.  Over on Certain Doom’s site (, I post questionable advice for a different “national day” celebration every single day. It’s a lot of fun and surprisingly challenging, but more than anything else, it allows my mind to go to some very weird places. Here’s a recent example…

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I Got This: Patrizia Motta Platform Sandals


Remember how I said I was going to take the time to fish out all my unworn and/or forgotten purchases and show them a little love? Boom. I am doing that shit. First entry!

I got these sandals for some kind of crazy bargain on Yoox. I haven’t worn them yet. I was going to make excuses, but decided against it. I am going to wear these suckers… tomorrow.

Take that, me!

Buying Stuff & Thinking About Buying Stuff

packed closet

Not my closet, but a reasonable approximation.

You know what always sounds like a really fun time? Buying stuff. You know what’s almost better than buying stuff? Thinking about buying stuff. I can spend hours just poring over shopping sites, flash sale sites, even just plain fucking Amazon. (I love you, Prime!)

Well, that’s got to stop. I have too much stuff. No one needs this much stuff. It’s ridiculous.

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