I Wrote A Book!

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When I was a little girl, I wanted to be just two things when I grew up: five foot nine and a writer. I only made it to five foot seven, but guess what! Yesterday I self-published a book!

How to Celebrate National Days: Instructions for Enjoying Daily Pseudo-Holidays, Volume 1 is the work of my not-so-secret alter-ego, Certain Doom.  Over on Certain Doom’s site (followmetocertaindoom.com), I post questionable advice for a different “national day” celebration every single day. It’s a lot of fun and surprisingly challenging, but more than anything else, it allows my mind to go to some very weird places. Here’s a recent example…

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Super Simple Sugar-Free No-Cook Keto Vegan Coconut Chocolate Pudding

coconut chocolate pudding snack

Hey, Keto friends. Do you miss desserts? I miss desserts. I miss them so much. I wanna eat a great big bowl of rocky road ice cream on top of a pair of eclairs, topped with some profiteroles and, oh, I dunno… a tub of hot fudge. That sounds like a nice treat.

Anywho, to scratch that dessert itch, I’ve been experimenting with keto-friendly desserts. Here’s my attempt at a chocolate pudding. It’s super simple, super quick, and requires absolutely no cooking! Let me know what you think!

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How to Celebrate National Blueberry Muffin Day & National Cheer Up the Lonely Day

Been absent a while, dealing with the ol’ personal life. Will get back to posting shortly. In the meantime, please enjoy a little something from our good friends at FollowMeToCertainDoom.com…

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National Blueberry Muffin Day & National Cheer Up the Lonely Day
July 11, 2017

Celebrate both National Blueberry Muffin Day and National Cheer Up the Lonely Day by baking a dozen blueberry muffins and taking them to your neighbor’s house as a gift. Invite yourself in and ask for a tour of their home. Admire their furnishings and decor. Ask about their personal life – their childhood, their family, their work, their relationships. Tell them about yours. Ask about their politics and personal philosophies. Tell them about yours. Ask if you can stay for lunch. Ask if you can stay for dinner. Ask if you can stay the night. Ask if they could at least walk you home. Once home, ask if they could tuck you in. There. Feel better now?


two great tastes that taste great together

Links galore so you can learn more…

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DIY: Custom Printed Dresses

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Maybe this is news to no one, but did you know you could have super cute dresses printed from your own photographs? I only found out over the weekend and it continues to blow my damn mind. Isn’t technology amazing, you guys? WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT?

Needless to say, I’ve been very busy ripping up construction paper and taking pictures to create my own, one-of-a-kind prints. Look at me! I’m a textile designer!

Pics and links behind the cut.

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Keto Spinach & Cheddar Soufflé

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I love meat. I adore it. There is no time of day – sleeping, showering, jury duty – when I couldn’t go for a nice grass-fed ribeye. But, I acknowledge that there are folks out there who prefer their eats a little less “moo” and a lot more “imperceptible sound of plant growth.” In fact, one of those people has been my boyfriend for the past 17 years. (Life is weird sometimes. I’ve learned to stop asking questions.)

So, for him and several of my similarly meat-averse friends, I’ve decided to attempt some vegetarian keto cooking. This spinach soufflé was my first experiment. I thought it was damn delicious, frankly. That boyfriend guy liked it, too.

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Winner Winner Chicken Lunch

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I couldn’t think of a clever preamble to this recipe. I considered referencing Food, Inc. and the terror of chickens it instilled in me. Then, I considered a reference to the amazing Jacques Pépin, his apparent love of chicken, and the recently released Jacques Pépin: The Art of Craft from the American Masters series.

But, you know what? This is simple food. Let’s give it a simple post. Fuck it.

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